Many guys hope that one day they will have the honor of being a best man in a wedding. They think about the fun of planning the bachelor party, but they often forget that there are lots of other responsibilities as well. Accepting the role of best man requires a person that is capable of shouldering a huge amount of responsibility. There are many duties that a best man must perform. Here is a guide to everything that the best man is traditionally required to take care of for a wedding.
Before the Wedding
The duties of a best man begin months before the wedding arrives. The first step for the best man is to start planning the bachelor’s party. This should take place as soon as he knows the date of the wedding. The best man needs to talk with the groom about what kind of party he wants. There is often a group discussion where the best man, the groom and his friends discuss the best time to hold the bachelor party. The best man is required to send invitations to everyone coming as well as to set up all of the logistics for the party.
Another one of the pre-wedding best man duties is to get fitted for a tuxedo. It is traditional for the groom to pay the cost of renting a tuxedo, but times are changing. Many grooms expect all of their groomsmen to pay for their tuxedos. It is the responsibility of the best man to make sure all of the groomsmen attend their fitting appointments as well.
The next of the best man duties is to attend the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner that are traditionally held the day before the wedding. The best man should make a general and short toast at the rehearsal dinner; save the big, emotional speech for the wedding reception.
The Wedding Day
The groom will be a bundle of nerves on his wedding day. One of the most important of the best man duties is to be by the groom’s side to calm his anxiety and take care of anything he might need. The first step on wedding day is for the best man to help the groom get dressed. The best man should not ply the groom with serious questions at this time. He should keep it light and bring something to pass the time waiting. A video game or cards are great ideas.
In the run-up to the ceremony, the best man should ask the groom if he has everything he needs. The groom may not have time to go home and get something after the reception. He may have a plane to catch for his honeymoon. It is the best man’s responsibility to make sure that the groom has everything he needs for before, during and after the ceremony.
The best man usually drives the groom to the wedding location. He should make sure that the groom gets there about 30 minutes early. Once the best man arrives at the chapel, he will pass out the boutonnieres to all of the groomsmen. He also needs to make sure that all the groomsmen correctly place their boutonnieres in their left lapel buttonholes.
During the Ceremony
The best man comes traditionally comes into the chapel from the side, following the minister and preceding the groom. This may be different depending on the ceremony, and the best man will learn exactly how he needs to enter during the rehearsal dinner.
One of the most serious of the duties of a best man is to hold onto the groom’s ring during the ceremony. The best man needs to be sure to keep the ring in a safe place and to pass it smoothly during the ceremony. This is one moment that needs to be flawless.
The best man will walk the maid of honor out of the wedding usually. He needs to make sure to walk slowly to accommodate the maid of honor. She will usually be walking slowly in very high heels and possibly an awkward dress.
After the Ceremony
Before leaving for the reception, the best man will often need to sign the marriage license as one of the witnesses. He then needs to get to the reception as quickly as possible. Once at the reception, the best man duties become increasingly fun. The best man needs to dance with the maid of honor, the bride and all of the bridesmaids.
When everyone is eating dinner, the most important part of the best man duties arrives. The best man must start the toasting of the newlyweds. This speech is one of the most important a man will ever make. The best man should take this responsibility very seriously. The speech should be funny, touching and in good taste. The best man should practice this over and over again until it is flawless.
The best man duties at the wedding end when he sneaks out with the groomsmen to decorate the newlyweds’ car. It is important to make it embarrassing, but it should also be in good taste. Tying cans with stings and balloons to the car are nice touches.
Finally, the duties of a best man end when he returns the groom’s tuxedo if it is a rental. The best man should do this the day after the wedding to avoid forgetting.
Does this fit your vision of a best man? Let me know in the comments below.